In response to adbartee’s much appreciated and completely justified complaining, I have made a resolution to stop taking giant craps on this blog and finally give my small amount of readers what they deserve. I am not promising daily updates, but I do swear that I will post more than once every never. So to demonstrate my new blogatude, I give you the next page in my completely embarrassing Jelly of Doom. Thanks for hanging in there for me!
Don’t have much to say right now… I’m feeling a tad bit sick. I’d make some soup or something, but I have NO food in my fridge. Craving some of this. The lemon flavor is so good, it’s not fair. Seriously. Buy some now. You’ll be very pleased with yourself afterwards. On to Jelly of Doom:
Hey poopy faces! I’m gonna post the next Jelly of Doom page, but first I have a story. So, last week I was in Ottawa on tour, and it was kind of hard for me to go to the grocery store and get proper food—meaning I was eating mostly food court delicacies and cereal that I drank out of hermetically sealed hotel cups. I only say this to justify the fact that I was eating at McDonald’s. Anyway, we were at McDonald’s, I had just ordered a rolo McFlurry and some fries, and these two girls sit down at the table next to us. There was already a guy sitting there, and the girls started talking to him. Now, I of course assumed that the girls were friends with the guy or something like that because they kept chatting it up with him. After a bit, one of the girls (her friend told us her name was Sydney) goes up to the counter and orders a burger and fries. She comes back to her table and starts feeding the guy her fries. She’s going on and on saying things like, “lovers not fighters, remember that” and “Borat, do you know Borat? He’s a good guy.” Finally, when Sydney is busy punching some other customers because they won’t eat her fries, the guy whose table Sydney sat at turns to us and says, “What the fuck? I was just sitting here and she started feeding me.” So apparently, they weren’t friends at all, and Sydney was just completely wasted. Our fabulous night at McDonald’s ended with us exiting and seeing a man throw up on his girlfriend. She proceeded to yell at him, calling him a cunt and a piece of shit, to which he replied, “This is how you treat me? This is exactly how you treat our child.”
And now, Jelly of Doom:
As I promised, Jelly of Doom. This is really quite miserable, but if you try not to have high expectations, it’ll be harder for me to disappoint you. Here are the cover and page one of Jelly of Doom. Maybe you should try playing some music while you look at these, because if you’re multi-tasking, it’ll be harder to pay complete attention to the comic, and you’ll end up liking it that much more. Anyway, to make this easier to follow, I added a blog section called “Jelly of Doom” which can be found in the menu to the left. Here goes:
Oh god. I don’t think I could possibly be more embarrassing to myself. I got an email a while ago from geocities telling me that they were shutting down pretty soon, so I logged in to one of my old accounts to save some of my shit before it got deleted—holy crap. Who was I? Twelve-year-old me was into some messed up shit. Ok, first of all, my screen name was “burnt_kettle.” Second of all, I found weird tutorials I made on how to craft soda can rings. Third of all, I found the comic that I once started called “Jelly of Doom.” Yes, Jelly of Doom. As in evil jelly. This was back when I was into anime and neopets… so it’s a pretty weird mix of stuff. Did I mention that the main character in my comic is named Doomie? At the time, I don’t think I meant that in a sexual way, but reading the comic now, I can’t for the life of me figure out what I was thinking. Anyway, despite how weird it is, it’s pretty funny, and it has provided me with some inspiration. So I’ve decided that I’m going to try to continue it. Don’t get all excited though, because it’s gonna be kind of a mess. I mean, it has no plot, my comic-book-making skills are very lacking, and I’m probably gonna get bored with it again and give up for a second time. I’ll start by posting the first 7 pages of it that I made a very long time ago, and then once all of those are up, I’ll start making new ones. Let’s see where this goes…
P.S. I’m gonna be drawing LOTS of ugly people in the new comic pages, so be prepared. I also have to figure out how I’m gonna post the pages on here before I get going, so if you have any ideas, comment please.
