After a really tiring day of rehearsals, I walked over to the Shoppers Drug Mart below my apartment building and made the best decision of my life. I purchased a 1.5 L tub of Moose Tracks Kawartha Ice Cream. This ice cream shouldn’t even be legal. I ate a large bowl of this stuff, and then I had to go back into the freezer for some more. The rich and creamy vanilla goodness with chocolaty peanut butter cups and swirls of heaven provided me with one too many foodgasms. Some internet research awakened me to the many other flavors of the Kawartha Dairy Company including Bear Claw (chocolate, cashews, & caramel), Caramel Snappers (chocolate turtles, toffee), and Wolf Paws (vanilla, fudge, & brownies.)
This Canadian family business just celebrated its 70th anniversary. They make everything from ice cream to egg nog, and although I have only tried their ice cream, I’m willing to bet that their other products are just as outrageously satisfying. All Kawartha dairy stores are in Ontario, but their products are sold throughout Canada… so if you’re ever here, you know where to go. Beware, because you might grow a food baby.
Kawartha Dairy Company Website
You’re definitely wondering where the hell you are right now. You’re here, with me… at the Ugly Club. I’d tell you what the Ugly Club is, but I don’t really know myself, so I don’t think I’d be of much help if I tried to explain. Wow, this is my first blog entry, and I’m already doing an awful job. But whatever, I guess I don’t really need to explain anything because I’m writing this alone in my room at 2:47 in the morning, so nobody’s reading it. Cool, right? hmmm. (Ok, so I just put that in because I felt like I needed some sort of introduction for my first blog post, but I just read what I wrote and I sound like a poop so just ignore it please.)
Anyway, I have a story. So the other day, I was getting onto the streetcar on the way back from my haircut, and this guy in his late twenties gets on after me. He has long curly hair pulled into a loose ponytail, and his fingernails are super long. He’s dressed in mesh short shorts, a collared shirt, and teevahs, and he’s obnoxiously loud. So he gets on, and the first thing he starts doing is bang on all of the windows and yell about how Toronto has no fresh air. Then he sits down right in front of me and starts flipping through his newspaper. After about two minutes of heavy breathing, he looks out the window and says in quite a loud voice, “That girl thinks she has such nice legs… I guess she does.” At this point, I’m wondering why Lafayette (that’s what I’ve named him in my head) finds it so necessary to vocalize every one of his thoughts. I guess he’s just rowdy by nature. But wait it gets even more ridiculous. After we’ve passed five or so stops he walks up to the driver and nonchalantly asks her if she knows where the women’s Jello wrestling match is. What the fuck? Who are you!? She says she doesn’t know and he responds with some story about how he went to this school and saw an advertisement for it. Anyway, Lafayette got off the streetcar. I was considering following him, but I had stuff to do, so I guess I’ll never find out if he made it to that Jello match.
Over and out.
